7. What Visited Muhammad Left Him Terrified and Suicidal (First Revelation)
In a sahih (authentic) hadith, an "angel" seized Muhammad in a cave and crushed him three times until he "could not bear it anymore." He went home "twitching with terror," telling his wife Khadijah to cover him and asking her, "O Khadija, what is wrong with me?"
From a credible hadith
"(The Prophet (ﷺ) added), 'The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and again asked me to read, and I replied, "I do not know how to read," whereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and asked me again to read, but again I replied, "I do not know how to read (or, what shall I read?)." Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me and then released me and said, "Read: In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read and Your Lord is Most Generous…up to….. ..that which he knew not." (96.15) Then Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) returned with the Inspiration, his neck muscles twitching with terror till he entered upon Khadija and said, "Cover me! Cover me!" They covered him till his fear was over and then he said, "O Khadija, what is wrong with me?"
"the Prophet (ﷺ) became so sad as we have heard that he intended several times to throw himself from the tops of high mountains and every time he went up the top of a mountain in order to throw himself down, Gabriel would appear before him and say, 'O Muhammad! You are indeed Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) in truth' whereupon his heart would become quiet and he would calm down and would return home. And whenever the period of the coming of the inspiration used to become long, he would do as before" Sahih Bukhari 6982
Someone Else Told Him It Was an Angel
"he told her everything that had happened and said, 'I fear that something may happen to me.' Khadija replied, 'Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you...' Khadija then accompanied him to her cousin Waraqa bin Naufal... who, during the pre-Islamic Period became a Christian... Waraqa said, 'This is the same one who keeps the secrets (angel Gabriel) whom Allah had sent to Moses.'" Sahih Bukhari 3
Suicidality Corroborated by Muhammad's Earliest Biography and The History of al-Tabari
The earliest biography (Ibn Ishaq) and the earliest Islamic universal history (al-Tabari) both preserve Muhammad's suicidality through Muhammad's first-person narration.
Earliest Biography
"Now none of God's creatures was more hateful to me than an (ecstatic) poet or a man possessed: I could not even look at them. I thought, Woe is me poet or possessed - Never shall Quraysh say this of me! I will go to the top of the mountain and throw myself down that I may kill myself and gain rest. So I went forth to do so..." Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasul Allah, p. 106
The History of al-Tabari
"He (Muhammad) said: I had been thinking of hurling myself down from a mountain crag, but he appeared to me, as I was thinking about this, and said, 'Muhammad, I am Gabriel and you are the Messenger of God.'" al-Tabari, History of al-Tabari, vol. 6, p. 68
